Some analogies to avoid:

1.Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

2. The information imbedded on the stolen computer chip was like an explosive so explosive it could explode, creating a massive explosion.

3. Her parting words lingered heavily inside me like last night’s Taco Bell.

4. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

5. A single drop of sweat slowly inched down Chad’s brow - a tiny, glistening Times Square New Year’s Eve Ball of desperation.

6.The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

7. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

8. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

9. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

10. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

11. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

12. Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

13. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

16. The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

17. The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

18. The politician was gone, but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

19. She had a voice so husky it could have pulled a dogsled.

20. The situation had become topsy-turvy - like Christmas in the summer, if you’re in Australia.

21. His face looked like an ice sculpture. Not one of those pretty ones in the middle of a cruise ship buffet, but the kind they do in a contest with a chain saw - and it had been out in the heat too long.